**This was reposted from my first, original blog. I wanted to move everything over so I have it all in one spot.**
Well, today has definitely been one of those days…
One of those days where my patience was thin the second I woke up, and through no fault of my kids, who got the brunt of it.
One of those days where the girls’ naps didn’t match up the way I intended so that I could take a nap after the long, fun-filled, 3-day weekend.
One of those days where absolutely nothing got done and we didn’t even make it out of our pajamas until after 4:00 because Callie wanted to be held or nurse ALL DAY LONG.
One of those days where I’m crying as my husband finally walks in the door from work while I’m trying to make dinner and Callie is screaming inconsolably, despite being nursed twice in the last half hour.
One of those days where Chad and I are so stressed by the time dinner finally gets done, that we don’t speak for fear of ruining the silence that finally found our house since Ella is quietly eating and Callie is happily gnawing on her fingers.
One of those days where Chad is wrestling to get Ella in her pajamas in her room and I’m in our bedroom trying to nurse Callie to sleep.
One of those days where I have to run interference between Chad and Ella who are getting nowhere in the bedtime routine.
One of those days where I reach for my Praying Circles Around your Childrenbook that we got when we dedicated the girls because I felt like if today wasn’t a sign that I needed help being a mom, then I don’t know what would be.
On the fourth page of the book, there was a quote that stood out to me. It said, “You’ll never be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent!” Today is the type of day when I have to remember that all moms make mistakes, even the seemingly perfect moms. Even the moms who make adorable, cute, little lunches to send to school, yeah, they make mistakes, too.
I hate nights like tonight when the bedtime stuff is rushed. I hate when Callie needs to nurse the same time Ella needs to be tucked in, because I love spending Ella’s last 10 awake minutes with her.
I love how she spins in her Elsa nightgown as soon as we put it on. I love brushing her teeth and helping her try, too. I love my sweet kiss and the “biiiiiiiiiiig squeeze” I get before she lays down on her pillow. I love when she says, “Mommy, say ‘You are,'” to start out the 7 things I say to her every night. I love the way she grabs the flabby skin on the back of my elbow as she gets all snuggly in her bed.
I also love being part of Callie’s nighttime routine. I love how she smiles and giggles at me when I’m changing her diaper, tickling her naked belly. I love how she roots around for my breast when we get all snuggled into our nursing position. I love the way she holds up my shirt, as if her milk supply will be cut off if she doesn’t. I love watching her face twitch and make all sorts of silly faces once she finally passes out. I love how sometimes, she sort of opens one eye like she’s checking to see if I’ve left her or not.
On nights like tonight, I’ll go to bed, exhausted. But before I doze off, I’ll think of all the mom mistakes I made for the day. I’ll think of how I could do things differently tomorrow to make everyone have a better day. I’ll think about what worked and what didn’t. I’ll think about all the things that didn’t get accomplished today that need to get done tomorrow.
Then, I’ll thank God for giving me this day with my two girls and husband. I’ll thank Him for giving me the opportunity to learn and grow from the challenges and mistakes that took place today. I’ll ask Him to help me make tomorrow a better day, full of more laughter than tears.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll likely wake up to Ella in my face telling me she wants a Poptart for breakfast and to “get out of bed, mommy!” Shortly after her Poptart is on the plate and her milk is poured, I’ll hear little whimpers coming from the baby bed. And my day will officially begin…
Until next time….
“This business of training little humans for life is a mind-boggling process.”