Just the other night, Chad asked me to sit down with him and help him complete a personality test. At the end, the test showed you graphs which grouped you into four different colors and showed your dominant color. The interesting thing about this test was that it asked you to consider the answers as they best described you as a child, not as an adult.
As we were reading through the test, I could answer most of the questions about him with no hesitation, based on how he’s been since I met him (at a young 16 years old), and based on the many stories I’ve heard about him from his siblings, parents, and other family and friends from his early childhood. Aside from the natural progression from childhood into adulthood such as added responsibility and the need to be a little more level headed, he is the same person he was as a child: easy to get along with, spontaneous, always up for adventure, a leader, so full of energy, and pretty stress-free. These qualities in him are the exact opposite of anything about me, which is why our marriage works.
As I was reading the questions and thinking about my own answers, I couldn’t help but to realize that I am a completely different person than I was as a child. As a child and teenager, I had no self-esteem. I would let people walk all over me to avoid confrontation. Although I’ve always had leadership qualities, I preferred to blend in to the background to avoid drawing attention to myself. Several of the questions were about friends. One thing I can say has always been the same about me is that I’ve always only had a handful of close friends who accept me for me. I’ve never been one to have tons of friends. I find a few I can trust and who treat me well and accept me for who I am and I stick close to them.
Anyone who has only known me in my adult life would probably be shocked to hear how I described myself up there. I am now someone who is confident in my skin and in my roles. I’m a confident wife, mother, and teacher. I have learned to put my leadership skills to use as a mentor teacher at my school and to blog, hoping to inspire and help moms. I also don’t allow people to wrong me anymore. If someone upsets me or hurts me, I’ll have a conversation with them about it. It’s not my favorite thing to do, and sometimes it takes days for me to muster up the courage to do so, but it will happen in my own time. I’m no longer a doormat, waiting for the first person to walk all over me with no repercussions.
Is this normal? What makes this happen? Chad and I have our opinions. I think much of my personality as a child was formed by the circumstances of my childhood. When I met Chad, he literally made me feel (and still makes me feel) like the most important and most beautiful person in the world. He gave me the confidence I never had. He didn’t like when people hurt me. Some of his personality rubbed off on me, giving me the tools I needed to not be walked all over anymore. I also learned very quickly that if I were going to survive in his family (of two loud, but amazing parents, and three ruthless brothers) that I was going to have to be able to hold my own. It’s often a joke in the Langdon family how I came into the family a sweet little thing and now I’ve been converted into a “true Langdon.” Most importantly, he balances me out in every aspect of my life and has genuinely made me a happier person.
I’m not sure which of us is more “normal”: Chad being the same person he was as a child, or me being a completely different person than I was as a child. What I do know is that every single life circumstance I experienced has shaped me into the person I am today.
So, which are you? The same person you were 25 years ago or someone much different?
Until next time…
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Jesus Christ.”